When thinking about the changes we’d like to make in our lives, we usually have a picture of what that change looks like. We may visualise great trips away, having a large family home, a luxury car and perhaps a well respected position. It’s probable we’ll view our figure differently – with less body fat and a more toned physique.

Thinking of what we’d like to have can be the beginning of our goal-setting journey. Unless we have a vision of how things will look when we’ve reached the lofty heights of our personal success, we’ve little chance of ever getting there.

Having said that, without changing a few things first, we can’t expect to have all these luxuries. We must be prepared to alter the things we do if we want to alter the things we have. In other words if we keep doing what we’ve always done, we’ll continue to have what we’ve always had, and our life just goes round in circles getting no-where.

We need to not only massively change the way we do things, but also massively change the way we think. Only then will we make big steps forward in what we have. Knowing that there’s going to be a deal of exertion to do to get the things we want to have isn’t a great revelation. We’re familiar with the elementary truth that to get, we first have to give. Interestingly though, the work itself isn’t the only criteria for achievement.

We accomplish success by embracing the thoughts and behaviour of a successful person – assuming the characteristics and values of a winner before we’ve actually become one. So the individual who’s goal is to lose 30 pounds in the next 12 months has to become conscientious about nutrition and prioritise a certain amount of time to exercise each week.

If socialising beckons, but the work-out hasn’t been done, then socialising must wait. The success mind-set says there’ll be lots more time for leisure later on (and more energy to enjoy it!) if the effort is put in first. A focused approach to weight management makes the process more enjoyable. It also brings results in much faster.

Winning isn’t a matter of chance. Having an achiever’s state of mind is a powerful force if we start doubting ourselves, or get criticised by others.

Associating with successful thinkers helps. We can do this by reading biographies and watching interviews of others who’ve emerged victorious after conquering their difficulties. Each of their stories has a common theme – that the work they did and who they became before the goodies arrived is largely responsible for what they have now. It makes a lot of sense – be the person we need to be, enjoy what we do on the journey and have the results more rapidly.

It started when I sat down with my wife Katie and we began to search for answers to our weight problems. We first identified what each of us hoped to gain and why being slimmer would give us that. It was amazing, but we really didn’t aspire to anything that remarkable. The thing Katie wanted most was to have more energy for the kids. She also wanted to lose the embarrassment she felt being in her bathing suit.

Most of all I hoped to dress well again. I had become completely fed up with ‘fat boy’ clothes! And for health reasons I wanted to be able to run up the stairs at home and not feel sick!

We realised in addition that our self-image has its part to play in how we physically look. Unfortunately, the larger we grow, the less we seem to care for ourselves. It’s very common to see weight reduction as the solution to a happy life. I want you to know how much I understand this thought process. Here are some observations…

Medical research tells us that our sub conscious mind has no scope to differentiate between actual reality, and perceived reality. And so our conscious mind receives its most predominant thoughts – real or not real. Repeat a concept often enough and that surfaces as the overriding idea.

Just how long have we been re-affirming the concept of how fat we are? So instead of telling our subconscious what we don’t want, we should tell it what we DO want.

It’s also important to think about all the great things being slimmer will mean. And so each of us thought of activities and things that would be enhanced by being slimmer. We came up with – Going for walks in the country, flirting, great sex, going for a swim without embarrassment, playing with the kids, fun on the beach, dancing, cycling and greater happiness.

We thought next about the holidays – summer at the beach feeling good in our swimwear. People around us glanced admiringly. Our confidence rocketed! Life became a breeze.

Consequently, the weight came off (though not too much…) We look at each other every day now and smile – you will too when you see how far you’ve come.